Last week was a big week for me. On Wednesday, I had a scheduled six-month PET scan, followed by a check-up with my oncologist on Thursday for results. Scan was clear and all is good. What a relief!! For the past month, the test was always on my mind. When I was busy, it was tucked away. But when I was not busy or I was alone, it was the big pink elephant following me everywhere. That elephant logged a lot of miles with me to the grocery store, doing laundry, running errands, and especially when I was adding anything to my calendar, as I was fully aware of what was before March 7 & 8, and what was after, and how that looming PET scan would affect my life and, more importantly, the lives of my family.

After we got the results and I had a little time to reflect, I thought about when I finished treatment as a child and how I handled the big milestone tests that determined if the chemo had worked its magic and I was still cancer free. I remember a sense of relief, but I don't remember anxiety prior to the tests. I wonder if I was just naive about it, assuming that the chemo worked and absolutely I would continue to be cancer free. But I don't think that's the only reason I was less anxious as a 13-year-old as I am this time around. The stakes are much higher now.

It is not just about me. I am a mother and a wife. I have two little boys who need their mom and a husband whom I promised to share my life with 21 years ago. I am keeping that promise! We still have a lot of married living to do. We have two boys to raise together, holidays to celebrate together, a home to maintain together. And this week, a St. Patrick's Day party to plan together. We are hosting a party next Saturday for about 35 friends. We love entertaining and we put this on the calendar about six weeks ago. I was skeptical to schedule it not knowing what my test results would show. But, in the end, I couldn't let a test determine how I was going to live my life. So, next Saturday, we will enjoy time with our friends, lots of silly decorations, good food and some Irish toasts! This week, the pink elephant that has been following me around for the past month has turned green, just in time for St. Patrick's Day!

And until next time, I leave you with this old Irish blessing:

May to road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.